I think I'll handle it like, that I write weekly a kind of a diary or news report 😊
First of all the news that I'm now officially living in a new apartment in the student dormitory and feel really comfortable there. I've already had two night outs from the clinic, i.e. I go home early on Saturday and come back by Sunday evening at the latest. Have now also twice made delicious pancakes and cooking itself goes well. The only negative point about it is that I have to shower after cooking because I feel dirty, washing hands alone is no longer enough. So the OCD has worsened in this regard, because even once "only" washing hands, which also took an hour, was enough. I also go to the zoo once a week and take a nice big walk through there, watching the animals and eat a piece of cake in the café there.
This week I had to face my biggest trigger. I had to go to the office to re-register, so that I can stay here and for that you need documents like the passport, etc. My aunt has sent these documents to my official escort and with her I went to the registration office yesterday. There I was confronted with the documents, which for me can hardly be surpassed in terms of pollution, and I was so tense and meticulously made sure not to touch anything. The documents, fortunatly, were shown to the registration lady by my escort, so I didn't have to touch them. When I was back in the clinic, I had to take a long shower and scratched my body again from all the scrubbing 😑 Unfortunately, I didn´t get rid of the feeling completely, I have to keep my head under control ever since, so that my thoughts don´t go on a roller coaster, that´s so hard and exhausting. Before the appointment at the registration office, I also took an on-demand medication to calm down, and same during the appointment and again after the shower, I took the full dose. Nevertheless, the head carousel just doesn´t want to stop.
Next week Thursday I will be discharged, let's see how it will be then. I hope it goes reasonably well 😬 But first I have another night out tomorrow.
But now something where I have a small success to record and namely I can now go to Starbucks in the main building and buy something without having to shower afterwards. Hands I still have to wash, but at least something 😊 there I'm already a little bit proud of me.
Now I would be interested again in what you would like to read about regarding the topic of OCD or mental illness in general. Do you have questions or simply, what interests you, what would you like to know? Feel free to write it in the commis below this post.
Until then, have a nice day 😊
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